The World We Wished For
by Yurika's Soul
Summary: In a world where most of the control doesn't even belong to your mind but to instincts. In a world where even those instincts are more dangerous for yourselves than others could be. How would you live / try to change things? How would you find a way to express yourself, try to calm yourself? How would you handle the turmoil in your mind with every scent that adored your nostrils?
1. Prologue

**Author's Notes:**So guys first of all hey!  
Second English is NOT my first language and will never be I just can write with the knowledge I have and check it just with the two eyes of mine so if you notice any mistakes inform me so that I can correct them!  
And last but not least this is a Prologue to my story where I explain how I imagine the world I wanted to put in our loved characters from Free!

**Disclaimer:**Free! Is NOT mine and never will be  
The Only things that belong to me are my ideas and writing style!

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In a world not even similar to the one we know, exist people who are related to human and animals called Ikimono. Though even most of you will disagree as human are animal too but this is not the point as this description is needed at this point. Their everyday life is like the ones of human. They go to work, get married, have children, go to school, learn and anything else human do. There is just one difference they have animal ears and tail depending on what animal they get and additionally both men and women can bear a child in their abdomen and give birth to these -though men births are mostly more dangerous due to their anatomy. So until this point everything should be clear we can go on to their system of law, how much of an animal they are and how their life works.

Let's begin with how they get to know what kind of animal they have in their blood as it really never depends on what kind of animal their parents were even their rank can't be foreseen. Everyone gets to know their animal and their rank after they turn 18, means until their 18th year of life they neither have ears, nor do they have a tail. They are just normal human children with even the same interests and games. So let this sink in after their 18th year of life everything they knew gets to a halt and their hormonal system changes drastically to the point that some children can't handle it and die. And as you can follow from this many children die due to this the day they turn 18.

The rank they get is split up to three Alpha, Beta and Omega depending on this their smell changes and value rises or sinks.

Alpha are the most valuable among those three ranks. They are majestic and strong, they protect what belongs to them and would fight tooth and nails for it. Their hormones are at the peak. Mostly male Ikimono have this rank. The people ranked in this rank are really dominant in every way possible, they do not really show their weakness and it is hard to tell what they think or what they feel over something or someone. They chose their mate and even if the other doesn't want at first they mostly get who they want as the government allows them -though the law is written different and does not- to do what they want because of their strength and reproduction capability. So it is not a big issue to find a mate for them, what the issue is that they can't control their instincts and desires -if they want they get. Their smell is dominant and strong that some even get scared just due to this. Just few of this rank exist.

Beta are the middle, the golden middle if you want to call it. They are mostly really caring and won't hurt anyone on purpose. They can control their desires and instincts well and won't get overwhelmed by those. Due to their own calm nature they never fight but if anything happens that would hurt their mate they turn to the animal they are, they fight with all their might and strength to protect their loved one. Though some of them have mating issues, they either can't find a mate to their liking as some Alphas are just too dominant, Betas are sometimes too nice and Omegas are just too much trouble. The other issue they might have is that they can't get pregnant or have unproductive semen -thus sterile- and that is mostly a troublesome issue to most people on their world as many die due to the hormonal change in their 18th the population needs to increase. Their smell is average and just changes with the animal they are and how strong this animal is. This is the rank that is widest extended

Omega is the least liked an valued rank. They often are treated like some piece of trash or a toy to play around with. The government doesn't protect them and they are at the mercy of the people that surround. The emotional distress they are put through can't be compered to the others as they have the most racing and puzzling hormones of them all. Due to their smell of utter submission and sex mostly no one that gets to near to them in the Omega's mating season can control themselves -if they are not mated- and take those vulnerable little group. Through the treatment most of them don't even reach their 20th birthday. They are the ones that are the rarest among the ranks and will try to life in places with less people around them as they otherwise really need to fight for their lives. They get easily pregnant and are used sometimes because of this for reproduction of their species. To give birth, to eat, to sleep, to work and to die is mostly the only thing they know in their lives after getting to know their rank.

The laws are giving everyone the same rights but as their ranks change some government workers just close their eyes and say nothing to Alphas as they are powerful and mostly Omegas get to bath out what others do wrong as everyone does stomp on this little group. The only thing that matters to them is that their species lives on and that their system worked so far and if someone has to be sacrificed then so be it are the collective thoughts about this matter.

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**Author's Notes at the end:**Hey again I hope I could rise your interest!  
BTW. Ikimono just means creature in Japanese... (really creative word I know)  
Oh and don't be scared through my first chapter being this short. My chapters keep getting longer when the story goes on (I made this experience with my KnB story! I started with 700 words in the first chapter and now every new chapter has 9k minimum...)  
Leave me a review of what you think of my setting!


	2. Prologue 2

**Author's Notes:**Okay sorry guys here is another prologue for you!  
I know that a story normally just has one prologue but dunno I'm an unusual writer?  
No it is just that I was explaining the setting in the previous chapter and now I started the story so this is the REAL prologue!

English is NOT my first language and never will be I just can write with the knowledge I have  
and check with the two eyes of mine so if you notice anything tell and I will fix it!

**Disclaimer:**I do NOT own Free! or its characters!  
I just own my ideas and writing style!

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**12**

A light breeze of wind whirled through trees and bushes, just stopping when it met the blazer of the kids playing on the school-ground. Some of them would play tag, some hide and seek, their laughter and happy cries could be felt and heard all over the town, how they chatted away and tried to find the most ridiculous faces while trying to get the others to laugh.

Between this mindless and happy running, dashing were two friends standing side by side at the fence, one of them looking at the other one, the shining one that would always light up the place as soon as he stepped in the room, the way he swirled through the fallen leaves and the way he always laughed and wanted others to laugh and be happy too.

His eyes shining when he met something new and getting his friends to do whatever his mind told him, his lilac hair would always sway in the wind when the wind grazed his skin. Once again he had the attention of his friend, he was laughing and trying to explain his friend how awesome this new classmate was, how he would just be so unimpressed of anything and still listen to him while he was babbling along.

As always mesmerizing his best friend, showing him the things he would never get to see alone when he was looking out of his window or when he was trying to not think about his future that would be there too soon. His turquoise eyes were fixated on the one person that made him forget the world and all the problems that could appear in the future.

"I'm telling you, Sousuke. This Haruka is really amazing, he is just a bit shy 's all." Rin declared for the thousands time that day.

"Yeah, yeah Rin." Sousuke replied just the way he did always showing him that he listened though the new kid did not interest him the slightest bit.

"And you had to see how he drew. It's so awesome! Makoto was so baffled after noticing that he wasn't the best drawer in class anymore. But you know Makoto he smiled so nicely towards Haruka and asked him about his technique and how he got to be this good. It seemed like he tried to become friends with Haruka. Can you imagine that? Makoto! We are speaking about the nice and shy guy. He looked so cute while stuttering and trying to be calm." Rin laughed shortly his nicely balanced laugh, that ringed in someones ears even after fading away.

"Then why didn't you speak with him?" Sousuke said with the intend to tease Rin "You would never pass an opportunity to chat with new classmates. So why didn't you do it today?"

"I did speak with him! Or rather I tried but he is so hard to read and speak with! But you know I will capture his heart and show him that the world is fun! So that he doesn't have to frown anymore!" Rin declared all hyped up and bounced slightly away from Sousuke.

"I bet you will." Sousuke replied beginning to wander off "Class is beginning. Up to a race who is faster there?" Was the last thing Sousuke said before running through the building's door.

"Hey! That's cheating!" Rin shouted and began to run after him.

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**15**

Some years passed by and really those totally different people became friends. Sitting together at lunch and not leaving each other's sides, not even trying to separate from each other. They learned first to accept and now to like each other as friends. Their everyday life was to run through the building trying to figure out what Rin once again suggested, be competitive and never let go of one thought -that they would always be friends.

"Haru! Look! That cat looks exactly like you!" Rin pointed towards a black kitten looking totally unimpressed towards them.

Haruka didn't respond, he just looked shortly to the cat and then to Rin, who was grinning over both ears before running after the kitten.

"He is right. It's wearing the same expressionless face of yours." Sousuke said looking down on Haruka.

In their last year Sousuke had a burst of growth and was now tall and looked down on all of them. His only response to slight jabs at him because of his height would be that he was watching over them and Rin -who actually would jab him every time- turned all red faced away and just babbled meaningless things until everyone around him burst in laughter.

Actually Makoto was the smallest among them. With his big green eyes he would look up to Sousuke always so amazed of his height and the way he was always so calm and protective. If anyone would say that he took Sousuke as an example it wouldn't be a lie though he would never admit it. Rin and Haruka would always measure themselves to just compete over who was taller now -Rin would always get Haruka to do this.

"Let's go after Rin before he gets himself in trouble again." Makoto said with a soft voice before running after the boy.

"He's right." Haruka pointed out before wandering off to the same direction.

Though they were 15 by now, non of them would stop to play pranks on others, never would tell each other to be more adult, they just did what they wanted to do. Their days passed, day by day with them playing along and not thinking about what would happen if...

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**16**

One year later two new kids joined their group. They were one year younger than all of them and so one class below them but strangely they would never leave the sides of the four friends in lunch time. Chatting along with them and telling stories about how different their class was from theirs. And even having one or other suggestion of what to do after school -after doing their homework together- like a new game to play, a new place to discover, new foods to taste.

Nagisa was the name of the smallest. He was a little devil with a sunny, shining face that looked all too innocent, but deep inside he was a cheeky person and would play pranks, get all of them in trouble from time to time. Rei instead was really rational, never even letting the chance pass to show the others, the wonders if science and being dorky with all his blushing and trying to reason why something was beautiful.

"Nagisa-kun don't do this it is dangerous!" Rei shouted as he ran after the sunny boy towards the cliffs "You'll hurt yourself!"

The blonde guy wouldn't listen -never- he would run off, trying out new things and leaving Rei the burden of having to look after him.

"Rei-chaaan! It'll be fun don't be scared. Just look how fast the wind blows there!" Nagisa shouted back.

The others watched them, watched them run off to the cliffs and crash against each other after Rei caught up to Nagisa. They stumbled towards the edge of the cliff.

"No! Rei watch out the edge!" Makoto cried out and began to run after them, the others followed.

Luckily nothing happened and they just stood there while Makoto was scolding Nagisa about how dangerous his actions were and that they nearly fell of the cliff. Makoto had become taller -much taller- his shoulders board and reliable. He was finally tall and strong enough to protect his friends, he would always tell himself as he looked after his friends with a loving smile. He would always stay like this, he knew it.

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**17**

The teens were nearly before graduating from school. Their school would end before they turned 18. This last year was used to explain them everything they needed to know, everything that would await them the day they would turn 18. They told everyone about the hormonal changes and that some ranks were represented more often than others, how they would react to their new instincts and the growing importance of their noses as they would sniff many scents that could either drive them crazy or let them relax.

It was interesting for all of them to learn this, how that 80% of the class might be beta and the rest Alpha -the Omega no one would even mention those though they would explain their hormones. This last year every pupil learned the fear of the future that would await them, the fear of being forced to learn their own existence anew, the fear of dying. Though some of them wouldn't think even then about all this and just imagine themselves in their new form, what animal they could get and which rank they wanted to have.

"Haru what do you think about all this?" Makoto asked his eyes looking worried to the teen.

This was something Makoto couldn't protect his friends from, what after their 18th year of life would follow was unknown, was a new territory to discover. His fright was that his friends had to go through this painful procedure, even could die.

"Nothing." Haruka replied not even looking at Makoto, his eyes trailing to the one person that managed to take him out of his shell and force him to make friends with everyone.

"Haru! What do you think what kind of animal we'll get? I want to be something real cool and strong!" Rin declared with a bright smile present on his lips.

"Rin don't get overexcited." Sousuke said "Those aren't matters to be taken lightly."

Sousuke was so adult for his age always trying to stay rational and wanting to pull Rin to the ground of reality more often than not. His eyes following every step the teen made and his ears listening to every complaint he had.

"Sousuke. It's fun to think about don't you think guys?" Rin looked in the round trying to find some reaction -anything- in the others' features that approved him - but no success.

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**31st December**

Their day of graduation was 31st December, one day before the first one of them would turn 18. Sending them off in a world they didn't know, sending them off to their own destinies with assuring words and promises to see them again. Some cried, some tried to keep their composure upright as they wandered off towards their new life. Every single one of the pupils knew that from that day on everything would change for them.

"Haru... Guys... I have to tell you something..." Rin said his eyes never leaving the concrete ground.

He was 17 and still he couldn't stay calm and unmoved when his emotions overflowed through every pore of his body.

"I... I will move away from here... Apparently my parents want to send me away..." Sadness was mixed in his voice as he said those words.

He looked slowly up, in the eyes of the teen he learned to love -he knew, that he loved him. Because every time Rin looked in those blue eyes he could see the sea, see the sky and the freedom those eyes craved for, Rin could see a future he really yearned for with Haruka.

"I hope we'll see us again." After those words left his mouth a tear slipped pass his lashes.

His friends were used to this by now, used to the way Rin would cry every time over something trivial or something important. But this time they too wanted to cry, say him to stay but the look Rin wore was proof enough to assure them that this wasn't possible, that they would get separated after so much years of laughing, eating, drinking and speaking with each other, separate after promising each other that exactly this would never happen. Non of them said a word, they couldn't say anything as they watched Rin going to his parents who embraced him firmly.

Rin looked a last time to his friends before he was seated in the car that would take him to the place he soon enough had to call home.

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**Author's Notes at the end:****  
**Hey guys!  
I hope you saw that the numbers over the parts were meant to be their age to that time...  
What did you think about this chapter?  
My characterization?  
After all it's my first fiction for this fandom and yeah if there is anything off then just tell me and I will fix it!  
Oh and before any of you says that Rin seems out of character I just wrote him the way  
I imagined him to be if he hadn't moved to Australia and they way he would be if he had all his friends around him

Oh and a question for you!  
What do you think our characters will get as animal and rank?


	3. Turning Procedur

**Author's Notes: **Hey guys sorry that it took me this long to update this chapter but as you can see this chapter is longer _MUCH_ longer than the previous one and yeah if you notice that someone is OOC then tell me right away! And I will try to change it!

P.s. for those who read this chapter and had different dates over Sousuke's pov **Naananase** pointed out to me that I made a mistake with the dates and I fixed it!

**Warning:**This time I had one of my dear friends reading over it though it still can contain spelling and grammar errors as both of us are_ NOT_ natively English speaking so go ahead reading with this knowledge and tell me please if I misspelled something or used wrong grammar.

**Disclaimer:**Free! Does _NOT_ belong to me!  
I just own the ideas and the OC's I had to put in!

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**Rin January 1st**

The door closed behind him, leaving him in the fangs of a cold, merciless darkness. His eyes closed as tears began to stream down his face, an angered yell followed with him tossing the bag in his hands through the room. His yell faded the same time the bag met the ground with a loud thud. His mind spun as more and more tears spilled.

A cry left his throat and he turned around to the door, the door that separated him from his friends, the door that stood in front of him instead of the remaining world. He dashed towards it, hit it, kicked it, with force, with so much anger and force. Wanting to break it, wanting to break the world that separated him from his friends, that separated him from his wishes and dreams, the world that would refuse him as soon as his new self was born.

Hit after hit followed, sobs and cries even begs left his mouth and after a final hit his strength left his limbs, he slowly slid down the door, scratching along the surface of it, leaving those scratch marks that showed his despair and hatred for this kind of world. He sat there on his knees, his forehead leaning against the cold door, against this merciless, cold door, that wouldn't let him get away.

It wouldn't let him return to his former life ever again, because as soon as he would step out of this door the world would hate him, trample on him, use him, hit him, discard him. His eyes closed as he sat there waiting for some excuse of this door, it saying how sorry it was for doing this to him. Some time passed and Rin fell asleep. His head sliding down the door and positioning itself uncomfortable on the ground in a bent position an embryo would sleep in. Maybe searching for some safety. He laid there asleep, waiting for his destiny to strike and end his former life, just to give him a new, merciless one.

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**February 1st**

The night before his birthday Rin was sitting in a corner of his room, leaning against the wall, pulling his knees to his body and trying to hide from the loneliness that made his heart beat uneven. Trying to blind out the ticking of the clock that neared his soon to be destiny.

Tick Tock... The short hand slowly nearing 12.

Tick Tock... Slowly approaching the final hour that would change the people around him to people who would hate him.

Tick Tock... Letting him slowly but evenly lose his mind.

Tick Tock... Making him tremble in fear and despair.

Tick Tock...

Tick Tock...

Tears spilled out when he looked at the clock. He saw it, two minutes. Two minutes that separated him from the new life he didn't want to have. Two minutes of waiting for his life to end. Two minute, just two silly minutes that would change his whole life.

Tick Tock...

His hands found their way over his ears, wanting to isolate him from this sounds, this clock, this time, this world, this destiny.  
Why would his parents tell him this, tell him that he could become an Omega, that it was in the bloodline of his father for many years that every second generation one child would become an Omega.

He didn't want this nightmare to occur, he had learned about the value, the estate of those who had this rank. How they lived, how everyone saw them, how everyone would despise them. This wasn't what he wanted, he didn't want his friends to hate him just because his scent affected them, just because his rank meant this. He didn't want to lose anything he had until now. Not his friends, not his family, not his dignity. His cries grew louder so much louder more desperate and pained, the agony filled his heart and the desperation clouded his mind and senses.

Tick Tock and the first Gong.

Everything was silent until a loud, pained cry erupted from Rin's throat as his fingers dug into the flesh of his ears. He was sure they bled, but the pain, the pain that shot through his veins was so much, so much more, just too much. He cried, he kicked out, his head met the wall as all his muscles cramped again and again.

He slid to the ground, his hands gripping his hair, tearing at it, until he forced himself to grip on something solid, something solid that would allow him to tear at it and wouldn't cause him more pain than he already had. Just the carped, there was just the carped his fingers could wrap themselves around. He squeezed it, he tore at it, trying to sooth the pain that shot through him like acid. His mind raced with full force, trying to figure out how to stop this pain from flowing through his veins, trying to find something in his mind that would soothe him but no, nothing there, just the dark room and him.

Rin's eyes widened more and more, he wanted to lose his consciousness. The pain, it was unbearable, his body spasmed as he laid on the ground. He cried louder and louder clenched his eyes shut, opened them again, felt how vomit crawled up his throat, felt every little one of his nerves lose their calm and feel pain.

His head hurt, his back hurt, it hurt so much, the vomit waiting at his mouth found its way out, nearly choking him to death. He coughed and panted between the cries just to get some air, more air in his lungs. It went on and on, the pain the physical pain he felt, Rin wanted it to stop, to stop so that he could just lay down and sob himself to sleep.

A final cry found its way out of his body when suddenly all pain stopped and left him behind with the smell of his vomit and the pulsing of his veins. His heart raced, his eyes closed themselves as he tried to calm his rapid breath and the beating of his heart. His throat was burning when he swallowed down the remains of his vomit.

When he was calm enough he opened his eyes again and looked around. Everything seemed so different, the smell of his vomit too. Every little scent that lingered around him in the air, he could smell them, could tell what they were, to what they belonged. He felt a heat in his gut as he drew a deep breath through his nose.

The scent of an Omega lingered in the air, he knew that it was the smell of an Omega after all it was an instinct. Slowly Rin straightened up to a sitting position and sniffed around slowly crawling towards the door as he recognized the scent of Beta and Alpha but the smell of an Omega was near, so near and he knew that it came from him, that he had really become an Omega.

His emotions raced, he felt the anger and sadness so much, so much more so that he could feel how his stomach and heart clenched, feel how a headache wormed its way to his head. He began to sob, to cry silently. Tears spilling down his face as he sat on his knees in the hallway. Slowly feeling up his head, just to see if he really changed, if he really had became half animal like all the other adults he knew.

He felt there, where his human ears should have been nothing human was left, right at that point something plushy began to grow out. With his fingers he slowly followed those plushy things up and could recognize ears, plushy animal ears. With newly found force he stood up, pulse racing he stumbled to the light-switch, turned the lights on and ran then back to the mirror at the hallway.

With wide, scared, reddened eyes he looked at himself. Out of his head had grown two white catears, both were moved back, showing his mental state. Shaky fingers found their way up to those ears and touched them, the next thing he noticed afterwards was the fluffy tail he had, that swung from right to left. Making itself noticeable.

It was fluffy, so fluffy, Rin swallowed and took then a deep breath the smell of an angora cat made its way to his nostrils, he inhaled the smell deeply, right after noticing the scent of an Omega. There was no denying it anymore he really had turned, he had turned into an Omega, a cat Omega...

This meant his life was over, nothing could help him anymore not in this world, never in this world.

Maybe in one that allowed wishes, where wishes and desires came true. In a world he wished for.

Tick Tock the clock never stopped to tick.

Tick Tock...

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**Haruka January 5th**

With a silent click the key snapped open the lock for Haruka to enter. The house welcomed him nicely with everything that was familiar to him. So after entering he closed the door behind himself and laid his keys on the shelf in the hallway. With small steps he went inside the house, it was dark and cold because of the winter they had, so he switched on the lights and made his way towards the kitchen to boil water for some tea.

The clock was ticking silently away, showing him that time didn't stop and just moved on, shoving him in the future if he wanted or not. His clear blue eyes searched in his cupboards for some tea to prepare. After finding green-tea leaves he returned to the kitchen counter and placed those leaves in a tea strainer, a teapot was set on the stove while he began to search for a mug.

This was his daily routine if you want to call it. It was just this, getting home, lay beside the keys and either prepare tea on cold days or eat some ice-cream on hot days. The sizzling sound of the teapot told Haruka that it was time for filling up the mug with the warm liquid to afterward reward himself with this warm tea for his years of learning for school and being one of the best in class. Though it had been some days since he graduated.

He watched as the mug was filled slowly and the leaves crumpled and released those exquisite aromas to taste and fill the air with. With a deep breath Haruka inhaled the warm steam of his tea and could smell the calming scent of those green-tea leaves. A small smile quirking his lips. He took the mug and went to his living room, seating himself on the chair in front of his dining table and then placing the mug on top of it with wrapping his fingers around the mug.

The coldness of his fingers reminded him of the day his graduation was. When Rin left without even telling why, without telling beforehand that he had to leave. Those sad eyes had been the last thing Haruka had seen of Rin. The boy, who always laughed and got them in trouble because of his hot headed demeanour. He always had looked at the world in a different way, in a way that made others begin to love the things happening around them too.

His love for everything around him effected people's view of things, even Haruka's. His grip around the mug shortly tightened before it loosened again. He closed his eyes and tried to get rid of those thoughts, it hurt to think about it. Because one thing was for sure he did not know what was going on with Rin and would never know in future as he had nobody to trust on if he wanted to contact him.

Slowly the warm liquid in his mug warmed up Haruka's cold hands and after the first sip he could feel the warmth spread from his stomach to every other corner of his body letting him forget Rin's leaving. On days like these when it was cold and often dark outside, due to the clouds that buried away the sun, he would always think about, where his parents were, what they were doing and if they had fun in the place they were.

He knew the reason why his parents couldn't stay with him for long. His mother and father had been there for him until he had turned 12 after that, they had sent him away to a new town, to a place he didn't know and where no one knew he and his parents. They had explained it in a way for him to understand in that young age. It had been simple.

His mother was an Omega and his father an Alpha, both were really proud and nice people, seeing the world in a way not everyone did. They had loved everyone and cared for everyone, Alpha's the same way as Omegas but they also had known the brutality of their world and had so decided to send Haruka to a school far away from themselves so that it wouldn't effect the way everyone looked at him, just because of his mother being an Omega.

Their world was truly cruel, not taking in everyone, not accepting everyone and the least it did was to make feel every adult at home. Haruka blew over his mug and watched the steam escaping in all directions. He knew that for a change it would have been nice to have his parents around, so that he would not have to feel so left alone, so betrayed from his world. But he knew, he knew one thing for sure, that all this just could have happened in a world he created within his drawings.

* * *

**June 30th**

The day before he turned, he was sitting in his room, had taken newly a shower to relax -the water let him always feel so safe and accepted- and while drying up his hair he wandered to the empty kitchen. Looking for something to eat and drink before he would sit down on his bed, to wait for the final hour to struck and shove him in its merciless claws, to burn a new way of living inside him, without him having a say what kind of live that would be.

From what he had learned at school some had more painful turnings and others just headaches, a hurting back and a real bad stomach that informed them about their turning. He laid his towel around his shoulders as he fished the mackerel out between anything else in his fridge. It was his favourite dish and so he began to prepare it in a pan.

It didn't take long until it was finished and he served it on a plate, bringing it to the dining table. He just returned once to the kitchen to get himself something to drink. With a thoughtful look he pierced the mackerel with his fork and began to eat. If he wasn't mistaken then Rin must have turned some months before. It was still bothering Haruka why he had to leave so suddenly without even wanting to try to stay.

There had really been something really off putting about his leave Haruka was wondering since a while if Rin was doing well and if he still was alive after the procedure of turning. Without him even realizing his plate was empty -actually he had just realized it being empty after the fork had clinked against his teeth when he had bitten on it deep in thoughts.

Without even making a face he brought his dishes to the sink and began to wash them. It was more to his liking when the house was tidy, when he could overlook everything. After finishing his work he looked to the clock, to see how much time was left. The clock showed exactly 11:20 pm. With a kitchen towel he dried up his hands and was about to go towards his room when suddenly the phone began to ring. In no time he made his way to the phone and answered.

"Hey, Haru." A cheerful woman chirped into the phone "Are you doing well?"

Haruka didn't respond at first. He just stared at the wall in front of him before his lips parted for an answer.

"Yeah." Was the simple respond he offered.

"That's nice! Your father and I are really excited because you'll turn 18 in a few minutes!" His mother declared all too proud "I really am proud of you! That you have managed to stay all alone all these years and have become a dependable son who hasn't gotten in trouble over all these years. We truly are proud for you being our son."

Haruka listened to the woman, who was saying all this, who had to send him away for all these years. It was strange to hear her voice after so long time, she nearly sounded like a stranger to him.

"Haru, love I wish I could have been on your side all these years... I wish I could have been the mother every child would wish for... I wish my scent wouldn't be in the way of your education and the way other adults would see you until you turned 18. I love you Haru never forget that okay?"

"Yeah." Haruka responded watching the clock as its long hand moved on and on showing him every passing second. He knew that those words were somehow a farewell as well as they should sound encouraging,

"Hey mate." Now a male was on the phone "I'm sorry we didn't call for this long but you know so... take care of yourself. Your mother said everything that had gone through my mind as well. So leave us a short call after turning. You know why..."

Then the line was cut off, just the long peeping sound was left in the phone Haruka held in his hands. He was still staring at the clock 11:50 pm. Without even thinking twice about this call he placed the phone on its place and made his way upstairs to his room. When he was seated on his bed he once again looked on the clock 11:55 pm. 5 minutes were separating him from his new form, he laid down on his back and closed his eyes, so he wouldn't have to count the seconds of a future that would bind him to rules and a new way of life without even letting him decide.

And then he felt it begin. All his muscles tensed up and Haruka began to pant. There was a tingling pain on his hip and his head felt like it would explode through the headache he had. His eyes opened as he gripped at his bed sheets, trying to calm his tensing muscles and to get rid of the pain that shot through his system. He huffed out air and moaned loudly when his stomach began to ache, the pain making him curl up in ball on his bed, making him groan and bite on his lower lip until it drew blood.

He felt his stomach burning and his heart beating in a speed that was unnatural, he could feel every little breeze of air that passed him and then gasped for air when an unbearable pain shot once again through his stomach and lower body, making him claw at his abdomen just to make some pressure that would sooth the pain. There was no timeline of how long this would go on until the turning was over.

The feeling that much things changed within him was strange and leaving him at the mercy of his own hormones and body was scaring. A wave of heat hit him, beads of sweat were forming on his forehead as he desperately clawed at his clothes and tried to take them off. But then suddenly everything ended, leaving him gasping for air and trying to calm his limbs from the tension before.

A new wave of scents hit his nose as he breathed in deep, scents he never had noticed before, making his head go dizzy and making him feel a desire that needed to be fulfilled. A low growl left his mouth as he sniffed in the air, taking in the scent of an Omega in heat and Beta in heat and Alpha that was just too near to his home.

He straightened up to a sitting position and tried to calm his mind just to sort things out, just to figure out what exactly had changed about him. His feet met the ground and he stood up from his bed going over to the switch and lighting up his room, then he went back to the mirror and inspected himself. Two animal ears greeted him and a tail -probably one of a Jaguar.

With interest he sniffed at his own hand and was sure that he was a Jaguar and Alpha. That explained the sudden desire to mate with every living being in 1 km radius that was in heat. The feeling that this desire was trying to get him out of his door and out to the night life struck Haruka. But truly he would never give up without a fight -not even to instincts that were thousands of years old.

With an iron look he tried to ignore those scents that sent tingles down his spine and forced him nearly to climb out of his window and try to find some person to breed with. Slowly he forced his body to lay on his bed and place the blanket over his head so that he was covered in his own scent. If this would become the world he wanted to have, then this kind of things wouldn't exist, nobody could force any rank or animal on him but surely this wasn't a world he wished for.

* * *

**Sousuke December 31st**

With a silent thud the door snapped shut. His bag was hanging lazily on his shoulder as he looked into the hallway. Sousuke still was not over the events of the day. That Rin drove away without having said anything beforehand was strange. His otherwise so over excited and happy friend would always tell when something real important would happen.

Also there was to add, that the lilac haired teen had seemed sad about his leaving, showing Sousuke one thing for sure, that he did not want to leave. That something concerned him. Sousuke pulled off his shoes and began to stroll into the house.

"Hey Sousuke you're home." His mother said while coming out of the living room. "How had been your graduation?"

" 'S nice" Sousuke responded still deep in thoughts, his leaving was strange more than strange.

"Come on! I even changed my shifts to be here when you get home today. Now tell how was it? Did anything special happen, like someone confessing to you? Your mum and I got to know each other that way. Did I even tell you that I confessed to her first the day our graduation was? It was funny afterward, cause it comes out I am the Alpha and she the Beta. That was pretty funny but I decided that I would give birth to you! So I made something Alpha's just really rarely do. I, as an Alpha bore the child!"

His mother laughed wholeheartedly, showing her ever so nice smile she had since Sousuke could remember.

Turquoise eyes found their way to his mother's eyes "No. Nobody confessed to me. And yes. You did tell me this story over and over again."

"Ah that's sad. I mean that nobody confessed to you. Are you looking because of that so thoughtful? Don't be disappointed and wipe that frown out of your face hun!"

Sousuke did not respond. Everything about the way Rin had left concerned him, made him worry about the teen like he never did before. Why would he leave so suddenly without even telling beforehand a few weeks prior?

"Hun? No really tell me what happened. Did something happen to Rin? You have your 'Rin is in trouble' face." The worry in Sousuke's mother could not be overheard as she put her hand tenderly on Sousuke's shoulder and looked him deep in the eyes "So really something happened to Rin. Mind to tell me? Maybe I can help you like the one time you and he nearly-"

Sousuk cut her off mid sentence blushing furiously "No really. Why do you have to mention this now?"

"But why not hun? It was pretty funny seeing both of you stuck in that wheel. I still don't get why and how you two got inside there..." Sousuke's mother waited shortly before speaking on "… and you had been in you undies what quite puzzles me until today. I mean why putt off your clothes first? Anyway it had been so endearing and funny. I really had the impulse to make photos but never mind. Now tell me what happened Sousuke. You really seem to be concerned about this matter."

It was always like this with his mother. She would rumble and rumble until she got to her point or question. She was one of the rare people on this planet he really trusted and still he was not sure if he should tell her what concerned him and if she even could help him with this one. It was true that she had helped him out of real deep shit -far too much if you asked him- when he had been a kid. She always had been there for him when something concerned him and knew as the first one just after looking shortly in his face.

It was strange how good she could read Sousuke even so he didn't really show his emotions on his face -or so said many people- she could read him like an open book. But then again she was overprotective because of her genes -and her rank. Knitting his brows he looked shortly up to her before his eyes trailed once again down to the floor. Maybe she really could help. She had grown to real good friends with Rin's mother after Rin's father had died and his mother was mourning over his death.

"Do you know where and why Matsouka-san and Rin drove away?" Sousuke asked after looking up to meet her gaze.

His mother looked at him puzzled and in disbelieve before she spoke up. "Rin was driven away? Why would he even drive away just after graduating? What I know for sure is that his mother is still at home."

"So they did not move away? Did you see Rin getting out of the car?" Sousuke asked. It was irritating that Rin's mother was still here.

"No the car drove away after she got out." Sousuke's mother answered "this really is strange why would Rin drive away alone?"

"Mother I have just one more question. Did you know anything about this?"

"No hun. I did not. How could I? Now I am curious what made Rin drive away so early after graduating, after all many people just go drinking something before they turn 18 and things get for a time out of hand. Anyway do you think we should go ask?" His mother looked him asking in the eyes.

He knew one thing for sure his mother would never do something that concerned him without asking him first.

"I really don't know. Maybe not today... Maybe he is just over to his grandmother's... But why did he..."

"Hun what did Rin do? Was he sad when he left?"

Sousuke nodded shortly "I think we should not interfere at first. Just when he doesn't get back after a week or two. When I do not hear anything about him in some weeks then we should ask Matsouka-san."

His mother nodded and gave him surprisingly a kiss on the forehead "We'll find out soon what this all is about Rin. I promise."

She ruffled his hair though she knew that it embarrassed him every time she did this. But her assuring words somehow gave him hope, even so he saw that there was not anything to get hopeful about...

* * *

**July 4th**

The ringing of the bell shook Sousuke out of his thoughts as he was standing with his mother in front of the wooden door to the house of the Matsouka's. His face was angry he hoped he did not glare too much. When the door opened he looked up to the red eyes of Rin's mother.

"Shizuka-san? What are you doing here? Do you want to get inside?" Her voice was strangely broken and concerned, showing a deep sadness that had to have nag her heart for some time.

"Eri-san. Apologies from me but today I won't be coming inside. Apparently Sousuke wanted to ask you something." With a light pinch in Sousuke's side his mother showed him to speak up his mind.

"Matsouka-san, I wanted to speak with you as my mother said. I wanted to ask about Rin. Apparently he doesn't pick up his phone and I didn't see him in a while now... What did happen to him? Did he...?"

Sousuke knew that Rin's birthday had been a few days ago, he had had the intend to ask much earlier about Rin's whereabouts but he could not get himself to do it until his mother pushed him as she was too curious. Maybe it had been because he did not want to know the truth or the way he had seen Rin. The way he had looked when Sousuke had seen him at last. Hurt and hopeless. That had kept him from going straight to the Matsouka's household.

"Yes. Yes Rin is not here among us anymore. He died. If not something worse than death hit him." She broke in tears "and now leave please you two. Rin won't get back for a long while. Because he won't have any chance in this world anymore."

The door closed right in front of Sousuke's nose. He stared at the piece of wood that separated him from the one person who could tell him about Rin's whereabouts. When he looked to his side he could see his mother gazing up to him. His mind raced. What did just happen? Why would Rin's mother say things like this? Had it been really necessary to chose this kind of words to make it sound like Rin was dead?

He gulped and stepped away from the door. He knew that his mother followed him though she did not say a word. The atmosphere said more than thousand words. It was an heavy atmosphere which robed the last bit of breath out of his lungs. As Sousuke was about to step out of the house's ground he heard fast steps which could not belong to his mother.

"Sousuke-kun!" He heard someone calling out. "Wait please!"

Sousuke stopped and turned around in front of him was standing Gou. Rin's younger sister. She looked up to Sousuke and tried to calm her breath.

"Sousuke-kun can we speak?" She looked with begging eyes up to Sousuke "It's about Rin-niichan"

The teen motioned a slight nod and so they began to walk off the ground before Gou's mother would notice that Gou wasn't at home anymore. Sousuke looked shortly to his mother silently mouthing her that he wanted to speak alone with Gou. With a nod his mother left giving him a thumb up to show him that everything would go fine. A slight smile played on Sousuke's lips before he turned back towards Gou.

"Sousuke-kun I want to help my brother. I know that he is sad and it breaks my heart to know that I can't help him. I really had to keep this a secret for a long time. My brother and I had to do it. Though I'm quite sure that you heard about the ridiculous way everyone would speak about the Matsouka family. How the family is cursed and that they were happy their children were not born in that family and so it never had something to do with them. Just right after my father had died and couldn't protect his name and family anymore."

Sousuke listened patiently. Of course he had heard about it, after all he had practically lived half his life with Rin as his friend and had often enough seen how angry Rin would get about those words adults often would use, of which some were sometimes more than cruel about him and his family. Though Sousuke could not really understand how that was related to this.

"This course everyone is speaking about has something to do with ranks. It is noted in our family tree that every second generation one child would get the rank of an Omega. So many, many of our family members had been Omega. Always had to live through hell. Even our grandmother's brother when his rank come to get known. She had loved her brother so much but one day he died due to the false treatment of everyone else around him. My grandmother had done everything to protect him but had failed because she still had her own life and family to look after..."

Sousuke's eyes widened was she meaning that Rin...? She could not be serious though it would explain the way of Rin's mother had behaved just a couple of minutes ago.

"So do you mean that he...?" Sousuke did not end his sentence he knew that she would understand without him doing so.

Gou nodded after that she didn't say word for a while, but then she spoke on. "Because of all this we can't tell you where Rin-niichan is. It could get dangerous for him. I never want to lose him. I don't want to live in grief and despair like my grandmother did..." A tear slipped past her lashes as she stopped walking. "Rin-niichan did turn a few days ago to an Omega we visited him and it's true. So please let it be Sousuke-kun. I know you like and cherish him at least as much as I do, but we have to keep Rin-niichan safe even from his own friends."

Gou wanted to leave. She wanted to go away with the saddest look a girl could wear. Without even thinking twice Sousuke grabbed her arm spun her around. His mind was racing so much facts about Rin, why he could never meet him again, why Rin's life ended after his birthday. But instead of making him to give up it angered Sousuke. Made him angry to no end so he glared furiously in Gou's eyes as he said those words.

"Gou don't be ridiculous! I would keep him safe with all my might! I... No, we need to know how Rin is doing! Everyone is concerned. Haruka, Makoto, Rei, Nagisa and I... We... We would never do things that would hurt Rin! You know this Gou..."

Her gaze bore in the ones of Sousuke as she twisted her arm out of his firm grip.

"Why do you want to do this?! Rin-niichan is now in a place where he will be safe! How do you intend to keep him safe Makoto could maybe be a help but Haruka? I know that he turned to an Alpha a few days ago he could harm Rin-niichan when my brother gets in his heat! And you... you don't even know which rank you'll get! What if you become an Alpha maybe even an Omega like Rin-niichan? Please don't do this Sousuke-kun! I too just want him to be safe... Safe from a world that hates him now! He hadn't deserved this. Not he..."

She broke in tears as she looked furious in Sousuke's eyes. Showing him the sorrow she had been going through, even was going through now. How hard it was for her to isolate her own Brother from the world he had learned to love. From the friends he had found himself. Sousuke tried to calm down soothing the pain and anger in his heart he spoke up again asking her the final question.

"Then let me ask one last thing Gou. Does Rin want this too?" He looked in her eyes. "I am sure as hell he doesn't. He always was so free, ran around, made friends and cherished everyone around him. He would never want to stay alone."

Sousuke knew Gou since she had been a little annoying brat back when Rin and he had played at Rin's home. He knew how much she loved his brother that she would never want to cause Rin more hurt than he already had.

The tears stopped as she broke her gaze from his and shuffled his feet on the ground before she spoke up, her voice not louder than a whisper. "Okay... I will tell you the number you can call him with. But just because I'm sure he misses you all..."

* * *

Sousuke was sitting in his room. Thinking if this was a good idea, if he should call Rin when both his mother and sister were against it. He was Sousuke's friend, best friend, their connection and understanding level was just one on the world. His eyes shifted up to the clock 2.39 a.m. and he hadn't slept a wink. A yawn escaped his lips as he stared once again at the paper piece in his hand. It was difficult this whole thinking about a matter that hurt more people than just one. But for him it was clear on hand, he would call Rin. Ask him what happened and how he was doing with his life. With a final look Sousuke laid aside the paper. And laid down he needed some sleep for the next day.

* * *

**July 5th **

"Hello, Sousuke." Makoto greeted him with his warm smile.

"Hey Makoto how have you been doin' those days? Was everything fine?" Sousuke asked with his deep voice.

"Yeah everything fine." A slight laugh escaped the teen's lips. "Ah by the way Haruka is on his way."

Haruka. With Haruka Sousuke had a rather friendly relationship but not a real close or warm one. They mutually respected each other on a level where they could get along for the sake of Rin and Makoto. What he knew too about this guy was that he turned out to be an Alpha on his birthday. It suited him the way he always was silent and the fact that he never spoke up his mind and chewed grief down his stomach though you always felt it when he was angry.

"Oh there he is! Haru, over here!" Makoto waved the teen over.

What did not go unnoticed was that everyone in the café turned towards the teen, observing him. Some of them even giving him flirting looks. But the teen didn't give them even a wink of a gaze. He just trotted towards Makoto and Sousuke. His eyes glued on Sousuke as he approached them.

"You said you have news about Rin." Haruka growled in a low manner, his shoulders were tense from the restraint he had to put up to not dive into one of the people.

Sousuke knew one thing for sure Haruka's gruff voice was not really intended or rather that he just had to keep himself and his desires, which arose from his instincts under control and that wasn't easy in a café full of Beta, maybe even some of them were in their heat -though Sousuke could not tell, not now.

"Haru? I think we should go to some other place." Makoto said while standing up "It... uhm... It is pretty distracting here"

Without even responding Haruka left the café his tail swinging from right to left rapidly. Observing his state, someone could see that he really was shortly before losing it. Makoto and Sousuke followed him until they found a place where nobody else was. What Sousuke noticed instantly was the way Haruka's shoulders lost their tenseness and that his gaze calmed down as his tail hung just lazily down.

"Sousuke you had said that you have something important to tell us." Makoto started the conversation anew.

"Yes I have. As I had told you whilst calling you, they are about Rin." right after Rin's name rolled over Sousuke's tongue Haruka's ears straightened in curiosity and his eyes were glued once again on Sousuke.

"So Rin?" He asked.

"Yes about him. I was yesterday at their place and kinda unintentionally forced Gou to give me his number."

The air was filled with silence as Haruka and Makoto stared at him with a curiosity that showed in every possible way. Though Haruka showed it more, with his straight ears that were directed towards Sousuke and the way the tip of his tail swung from right to left.

"I wanted to tell you first before calling on my own. What I have to add is that neither his mother nor Gou want us to get in contact with him. Because he could get in danger. Also Gou told me which rank Rin has..." Sousuke paused shortly before speaking on. "Rin... has become an Omega."

Both Makoto and Haruka looked up in Sousuke's eyes. searching for any sign the teen could be lying or play a prank on them, though he was not the type for such kind of things.

"Do you think we should call him today?" Sousuke asked them trying to stay calm. "Or should we wait?"

"We should wait. He turned just a few days ago." Haruka said. "We know now that he is alive and safe where he is. Those hormones really are not easy to deal with..." he trailed of to the end of his sentence.

"Sousuke I know that you are concerned but I agree with Haruka in this matter. If his mother and sister don't want us to call, then... We should do it after some time when Rin has set his mind too. Otherwise we would just... Just irritate him more... You know him even better than I do Sousuke you should understand..."

Sousuke looked from Makoto to Haruka and back. He could not believe what he heard. How those two did not want to hear Rin saying it himself that he was ok and that he missed them.

"Sousuke." Haruka spoke up -much of a wonder as he wasn't really talkative- "Don't call him. It will make things worse."

With this their conversation ended. Sousuke looked at them for a long while nodding and clenching his fists.

* * *

**August 17th**

He had waited and waited for the other two to get their shit together. To finally say that they wanted to call Rin. But they had not. They had lived their lives like before. Like Rin did not matter to them anymore. With a silent huff he grabbed his hair and looked at his mobile. It would just be some little tabs on the screen that would give him access to Rin's current situation, how he was doing, if he was ok, if...

The piece of paper was lying just beside his mobile. Crumpled from its life in his pocket for such a long time. He grabbed his mobile and the paper, sat on his bed and stared at those two articles until they were too blurry to even recognize. Then he blinked and everything was normal again. With a final shaky breath he took the paper in one hand and the mobile in the other, slowly typing the number that was written on the paper-piece. When he pushed dial he heard the beeping. And it made him sweat and an unsettling feeling wormed its way to his gut as he listened to the sound.

Beep... Beep...

It felt like an eternity until someone picked up.

"Yeah?" A gruff voice answered. "Who are you?"

"It's me Sousuke." Sousuke replied the way he always did with Rin.

A waver, a small, shaky breath was to hear before Rin spoke up again. "What do you want?"

Was the only thing the lilac haired teen said next. Sousuke stared at the wall in front of him, couldn't believe his ears. Why would Rin be this rejecting towards Sousuke?

"I called you because. You know... Just to know how you are doing and-"

"Sousuke I cannot speak with you now... or ever... so please do not call anymore."

The last word sounded hurt and forced showing the dilemma Rin was in. That he was sad and angry and still it hurt. Those words, even so Sousuke could tell Rin did not mean what he said, those words hurt more than thousands of stabs. Even more than the time Rin and he had a big fight. Those words just hurt left his heart and mind stinging. Sousuke knitted his brows together just listening to the long beep that showed that the line went dead.

* * *

**September 14th**

"Hun! Are you in your room? Today is the big day! Are you even curious what kind of animal you'll get? Which rank it will be? Hun I am so excited!"

It was always incredible how over excited and optimistic his mother was. She was the total opposite to his mum who instead would always look totally gruff and done with the people around her.

"Also me and your mum are home today and will be by your side as soon as something happens, Sousuke." His mother said.

"Yeah I know. Though you don't need to look after me anymore." Sousuke replied

"Say that one to Shizuka." A smile played on his mum's lips.

"Aki-chan I heard that one!" Sousuke's mother huffed turning red.

"Akiko. My name is Akiko, Shizuka. Call me Akiko not Aki-chan." His mum replied with a grin on her face. She liked the nickname her wife gave her though she always would say to not call her Aki-chan.

"We are not staying at home because I am worried, after all I know for sure Sousuke will stand right in front of us after his turning. I just want to be home because I never missed an important moment of my cute little sonny, though he isn't that little anymore."

Sousuke just sighed before turning his back to his two mothers. " I don't know about you two, but I am going upstairs. I want to be alone for the last 5 minutes before this turning procedure begins." Sousuke said bluntly not even looking back once while he stepped up the stairs.

When he shut the door behind himself a shaky breath escaped his lips. His back was aligned with the door as he slowly slid down. It was still hurting, Rin's rejecting behaviour. To ad now he was even terrified of this rather idiotic procedure. A fucking procedure that would decide the rest of his life, like it had done with Rin.

Those five minutes passed quickly. Too quick for his liking because when the pain hit him, it hit him with force. He felt the sudden urge to hurl his innards out and scratch off his skin. It was itching, his muscles, his very core was itching. Digging his nails in his skin he scratched along his arms and throat leaving scratch marks until blood wetted his fingers.

A groan left his mouth before he bit his pointer finger to block his mouth from letting past any other pained sounds. His breath fastened as he felt how he began to burn from his inside out. Beginning with his stomach, slowly reaching every little point in his body. It was hot, so hot. His clothes were sticking to his skin as the sweat crawled down his neck and wetted his hairs. He groaned once again and bit down harder on his finger until he could taste a metallic taste -his own blood.

He knew that his finger was bleeding, but he could not feel any pain from his finger. No. It was too less compared to what he felt in his spine and head. How those throbbed and made him curl up on the floor trying to muffle the screams that wanted to break out of his mouth. Trying to get rid of the feeling of utter betrayal of his body as his stomach began to turn round and round until he could not keep anything inside his stomach anymore.

He heaved and threw up. He choked and coughed. Trying to stay on all fours when once more his stomach tensed, he heaved and threw up once again. The vomit hitting his nose with an intense smell. He could tell that his nostrils could take in more scents. More that were far away and near. His vomit smelled awful. Again pain shot through his spine which made him fall face first on the floor right in his own vomit. He screwed up his face when he tried to get away but it was no use the pain made him just curl up and forget on what he was lying.

It just slowly began to fade. This pain that made him want to die. He panted through his mouth as he heaved himself up from his own vomit crawled slowly away until he reached his bathroom door. Slowly opening it, just to drag himself in the bath to take a shower that would hopefully calm his skin from the itching and burning that were left behind from the scratching. He quickly ripped off his clothes hearing that some tore, but he could not care less as he let the water run and sat in the shower.

He coughed and let the water run down his body. The strange feeling that new body parts were added hit his mind as he slowly reached up to his ears and felt them up. Then he moved tail in front of his face and let out a bitter laugh as he looked at his ringed tail with a black tip. He knew one thing for sure. He was a tiger and one little sniff told him novels about his species a Bengal tiger. Big, glorious, fast, strong the Alpha. A fucking tiger Alpha.

Another bitter laugh escaped his lips as a tear slipped past his lashes. Now he was one of the most dangerous rank his friend Rin could meet. He was a danger for his own best friend because when he knew one thing about himself then that he was not as patient as Haruka. That he was impulsive sometimes and could not control every desire he had and one little sniff informed him that the desire to mate was far too strong than he could ignore it.

He laughed in the shower not moving from his sitting position. He was the danger for Rin, for the one person he wanted to protect since he knew him. He felt miserable as he began to wash his face and body slowly getting rid of the vomit smell. In a world with a cruel system, where nobody could say if anyone could die just because their nature wanted it.

In a world, where not everybody had a place. In in such a world full of rejection and injustice Sousuke was living and now he was one of the high positioned ones. Everybody would love him but he. He could never like himself anymore. With a bitter look he cut of the water stepped out in the steamy bathroom and looked into his own reflection after wiping over the mirror. When this could be a world he created, then he for sure would be someone who protected Rin. But sadly this was not a world he wished for.

* * *

**Makoto December 31st**

With a sad look on his face Makoto was standing in front of the door to his home. Rin drove away today without even saying anything beforehand. They hadn't even been able to say their goodbyes properly. To see Rin like that, so broken, so hopeless, had been so foreign and saddening. Those emotions had not suited Rin's face. Not one bit. As the Rin, Makoto had come to know was always so cheerful, full of love and life.

Makoto had felt it in every nerve of his body, that Rin did not want to leave and he knew that nobody, not Haruka or Sousuke, Rei or Nagisa, not he wanted him to leave. He had been shortly before saying to Rin not to leave, to stay, but then he had seen Rin's eyes. Those hurt looking eyes, which spoke more than thousands of words. Which told Makoto silently to not ask him to stay.

With a gulp Makoto swallowed down the sadness that showed in his features, plastering his usual smile on his face he rang the doorbell. Fast tapping noises were to hear before the door swung open and happy grins greeting him. In front of him were standing Ren and Ran both grinning while showing a full row of their teeth and then taking their brother's hand.

"Nii-chan, nii-chan quick! We baked a cake for you, with mommy! Just for your graduation!" Ran chirped happily.

"Yeah we did and it tastes awesome! I mean I think it does..." the last bit of his sentence was more mumbled than said, as the little boy wiped on the corner of his mouth.

Makoto laughed full heartedly and followed both of them through the house in their living-room and really awaiting him was a cake with a sloppy written, misspelled 'congratulation'.

"Thank you two." Makoto smiled at them after giving a look at the cake " it really looks delicious!"

He saw the two looking at him with big, happy eyes before running in the kitchen and getting some tableware.

"Here taste it!" Ran chirped laying a fork in Makoto's hand.

"Ah... First of all we should divide it, after all everyone should get a slice." Makoto said softly and made his way to the kitchen for getting a knife.

After returning he sliced the cake into pieces and placed in each plate one slice. He seated his sister and brother at the table, then he sat down too. Eager and curious looks were directed to him as he took his fork. A small laugh escaped his lips when he saw the looks he received from them and with a smile he dug in to taste the cake.

"Mmmm this tastes awesome! You really are good at baking, Ren, Ran."

Giggles were to hear before the two dug in too. This little act of kindness of his brother and sister made Makoto smile wholeheartedly. It let him forget for a short time what had happened that day. His thoughts just kept pushing the nice things into the front of his mind and let him eat his cake in peace.

But as everything had an end this moment of utter peace and happiness ended too. They collected their tableware and headed to the kitchen, beginning to wash the dishes Makoto stayed in the kitchen and sent Ran and Ren to do their homework.

Right after those two left he was once again lost in thoughts about how everything would go on from that day on. How everything would change and if his friends were alright all by themselves, especially Rin. If Makoto was not mistaken then Rin was the one among their friends, whose birthday was the first one to occur. Makoto was worried as he could call Haruka one day after his turning, but Rin... Makoto had no clue how to reach out to Rin.

He wondered why the teen would be sent away. Why his parents would even do such a horrible thing to a teenage boy who would go through a great change. A terrible change which would seal his entire life. A little sigh escaped Makoto's lips as he put away the final plate and made his way upstairs to look after Ren and Ran. Those two could always cheer him up.

* * *

**November 16th**

A nervous laugh escaped Makoto's lips as he stared at the calendar in their kitchen. It showed the 16th of November, one day before his birthday, he was still nervous though the call with Haruka a few days ago had settled his nerves down. Really it was nice to have a friend who had turned some time ago and who explained to you how it was for him. Though Haruka did not speak too much and pointed clearly out that it was different for everyone.

But still that short call had helped Makoto to calm his thoughts about the turning procedure. He knew that his parents would take out Ran and Ren so that they didn't have to hear any cries if the turning would go agonising for Makoto. Actually Makoto had asked his parents to do this, he even had adamant that he would stay home alone for his turning so that no one of his family had to hear his cries.

But right now everyone of them were here preparing dinner for them to eat. Makoto was helping as always, setting the table and cooking, he laughed along with the jokes his father made and smiled to his sister and brother. Tried to reassure his mother a little, as she still wasn't sure if she really should leave while he turned. But honestly Makoto did not want her to stay as she really need not to hear her son cry through pain of a procedure that could not be hindered.

After a friendly debate she gave in with a shaky breath and a nice -but forced- smile on her face. They were preparing Makoto's favourite dish and after everything was settled down all of them seated at the dining table looking at each other before a soft laugh escaped their mouths -Makoto being the first one to laugh. His sister and brother dug in, Ren beginning to eat in a rush.

"Eat slower, Ren. You'll choke on your food if you eat this fast." Makoto said before he took his next bite.

Ren looked up to Makoto, nodded and grinned as he began to eat a little slower for some time but soon after his eating speed increased again until he was once again eating like someone would snatch him away his food. Makoto sighed in resignation before he looked to his mother, his eyes crinkling when he smiled. He could see the worry in her loving eyes. The way she looked at him made his heart crunch down and his head began to hurt.

It was not his intention to worry his parents, but things like this, a situation where he had had to see in the eyes of a possible death -he could not possibly calm his own mother down. When his eyes left the ones of his mother to look at his father he still had an unsettling feeling in his gut. A fear of hurting the people around him but when his eyes met the ones of his father all fear disappeared.

His father looked at him in a manner that said that he knew Makoto would stay alive in front of him after his turning. His eyes calmed Makoto down and Makoto knew that those eyes could calm down his mother too, so he smiled at him. Their dinner was lively as always they laughed, spoke and had to help Ren because he choked on his food, but they had fun as always. It was just as every other day. And Makoto laughed with them wholeheartedly, without enforcement. When their meal was over they all helped to tidy up everything and then Makoto's parents had to leave as this was what Makoto wished.

"Makoto are you really sure? You know I can stay with you. You don't have to be alone with this."

"Mum I know. And I really am grateful... Really thank you... But this... I don't want you to get hurt if it gets painful for me... And you have to think about Ren and Ran they'll ask if you stay and they just have to leave with father."

A sad look washed over Makoto's mother's face before she straightened up her posture and looked up to her son's eyes. She took a shaky deep breath before she smiled at her son, who grew up just too fast in her eyes.

"Okay. But please call... Otherwise I-" she was stopped before she could end her sentence.

"Son I am sure you'll call in a few hours. Ren and Ran always want to hear you say good night before going to sleep. So you'll call. I know it."

This was it, exactly this was what made his father special. He could always find a way to avoid words that no one wanted to say but still knew were true. He clapped Makoto on the shoulder.

"Take care of yourself." And with this he took Ren and Ran by their hands and began to walk away with Makoto's mother.

Makoto looked after them for a while, said nothing but stared after them before he closed the door and made his way to his room. Wanting to feel the safety of the 4-walls he had spent his life in. He breathed in deep before he looked at the clock on his wall. It showed exactly 11:48, he had just 12 minutes to wait for everything to begin.

It was strange to know when your life would take a drastic turn without you having any effect in it. The worst thing about this was that he did not know how he would change, what he would become and how it would affect his friends. If he could protect them even after turning or if he would just be there by their sides without having much effect in anything that happened to his friends. It filled his thoughts with the unsettling feeling of not knowing if he could still help and protect his friends after turning.

He closed his eyes to shove away those thoughts. It was a relieve that Haruka had become an Alpha, Sousuke too, but what about Rin? He still had not heard anything about Rin, how he was doing after to get to know that he was an Omega. It had to be agonizing for him to be alone and to top it off an Omega. Makoto's thoughts raced on and on until he somehow had a sickening feeling in his stomach. He laid his hand over it and could feel that the dinner he had eaten before was crawling up his throat.

Immediately putting his hand in front of his mouth Makoto stood up and rushed into the bathroom. There he toppled over the toilet bowl and threw up everything he had eaten. The food from his meal found its way out of Makoto's mouth but it seemed like there was no stop to it. Because he heaved and threw up once again. Panting in short breaths he gripped for some toilet paper to wipe away the spit that hung at his lip. But he had no time to rest, once again he heaved and hurled out the rest of his meal.

He felt that his spine and back were hurting and that some nasty headache was making its way to his head. The utter feeling of sickness, that made him wonder if he had caught a cold. When he heaved once again he just felt gastric acid crawl up his throat. This disgusting acid was burning in his throat making him all teary eyed before finally -finally- his stomach settled down from whatever had been bothering it until then. Feeling nothing but relieve wash over him as he finally could breath without having the feeling of throwing up in his throat.

Slowly, while supporting himself, Makoto stood up. Still panting rapidly he turned to the sink and supported his body on it. Letting the water run Makoto bent over the sink and washed his mouth, trying to get rid of the disgusting taste in his mouth, slowly he drank some gulps to sooth the burning in his throat.

With a short glimpse Makoto looked up from the hypnotizing running water into the mirror in front of him. His eyes travelled down to the water but then suddenly his eyes widened and he looked up once again. Forgetting the running water he stared at his reflection. Just holding onto the sink with one hand Makoto used the other to touch the Mirror on the height of his new ears. They were bent backwards showing the irritation in his mind, a full view of his emotions reflecting in those ears.

Then his hand slowly parted from the mirror and made its way to his actual ears slowly and carefully, touching them, his hand jerked shortly away from the fluffy feeling of his new ears before he once again touched them. This time softly tugging at them and massaging their tips. It sunk in bit by bit those ears belonged to him, they now replaced the ones that had been human. The tugging and massaging, he could feel how those nerves shot their messages to his brain and how it made his spine tingle down to his tail.

A shaky laugh escaped his lips when he breathed in deep and could smell some scents he didn't recall to have ever sniffed in his life. He sniffed around in the bathroom and could smell the scent of his whole family. Slowly he brought up his hand to his nose and sniffed at it. Taking in the scent of a Beta. He was a Beta, the golden middle a species who was there, just there among the other 80% of the population. Nothing special and mostly not even able to protect anyone. Those were just mare underlings of the Alpha but were standing over the Omega. Another shaky laugh escaped his lips this rank really suited him.

His way of living, the way he tried to be nice to everyone. He sniffed once more his hand, wolf, he was a wolf. It was hurting. The thoughts of him not being able to protect his friends anymore was humiliating him, hurting him. He just wanted to be there for his friends, just to protect them from any influence that would sadden them. But now even that one wish was not possible, leaving him in a never ending spiral of thoughts about how this was not what he wished for. Not a world he wished for.

* * *

**Author's Notes At The End:**I hope you liked this chapter with my strange ideas and I hope you could feel what our dear characters felt in this chapter nihahaha.  
Also the birthdays of the boys are in the same year so uhm yeah I just arranged their birthdays after their birth-months and not year because otherwise Sousuke and Makoto would have one year before Rin and Haruka birthday!  
And that I could explain everything enough that it does not puzzle you and and and... so much to ask but no time I hope you leave a review for me to read so that I know what you guys like!  
because believe me those reviews of you motivate me and they always make sure I get better at what I do!


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